The words on that bev nap were written almost twenty years ago and it tells me three things; Number one: things never change. Number two: I have been a bitchy waiter for a long f**king time. Number three: my handwriting is immaculate.

At a recent “mandatory meeting” at work. I listen to the owner saying things that I could have written down on that same bev nap back in 1994. The corporate-speak and general bullshit that spews from his mouth is making me sick to my stomach and I find it hard it believe that he really thinks that what he says is inspiring to us.

“We all have to be on the same team, because if we’re not on the same team, it means we are fighting against each other. Our cart has to be going in the same direction. If my wheels are going one way and your wheels are going another, how will we ever get anywhere?”

Really? That is supposed to make me want to work harder for you? There must be a high school guidance counselor somewhere who is pissed off because he is missing the inspirational poster from his wall. It sounds like it came from the same people who gave us the image of the kitten hanging from a tree limb with the words “Hang in there!” Managers could do a lot better if they would just talk to us like we are people and not cogs in their food service machinery. We are not stupid. We want the same things they want: plenty of customers, an enjoyable place to work and money. Inspirational quotes are not going to inspire us.

“My number one priority is you guys. I want you to be happy and I want you to make a lot of money,” he says. Don’t lie to us. I would respect you so much more (no, I wouldn’t) if you could be honest and say that your number one priority is that the restaurant makes a lot of money and you hope that trickles down to us. Don’t blow smoke directly up my ass by saying you care about me when every time I make a suggestion you just dismiss it with “it sounds like you need more training” or “well, we have to keep doing it this way in order for us to grow.” Just be honest and say, “It’s my way or the highway.” At least then, I will know that you’re an asshole instead of you trying to conceal it with the touchy-freely crap you wrap up your ego with.

Bitter, me? Sure, I am, because I know that so many other servers have to deal with restaurant managers who are exactly the same as mine. Yes, my job knows I write a blog. Does the owner read it? I don’t know, I doubt it. And if he does, I can’t imagine that he made it all the way to the end of this post. Besides, the beauty part of me having three jobs is that I can always say it wasn’t about them, it was about my other boss. But my friends who I work with who read this will know exactly who I am referring to.

My apologies to the good restaurant managers out there. I know you exist. It’s just that you are an endangered species.




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