Admins pls don’t filter this, I really need some advice here. So my bf broke up with me over text at the end of last year, and only recently did we have a proper talk for closure.
Long story short, it was only now that I really realised how toxic our relationship was; he was manipulating, controlling, and constantly disrespected my boundaries. He made me think what he was doing was normal, and that I was the abnormal one.
Despite my feelings of discomfort, it being my first r/s and him being much more experienced, I chose to ignore the red flags and listened to him, thinking that he knew better. Perhaps it’s stockholm syndrome, but I constantly understood and empathised with him, despite him disrespecting me time and again. Suffice to say, my mental health took a toll; I was constantly doubting myself, and lost myself in the process.
My ex and I are still friends. He doesn’t know that I’ve had this realisation, and thinks that things between us are all good now. I don’t know if he knows how much he has messed me up in the head.
These few days, I constantly get flashbacks about the past – his manipulative words, baseless accusations, and passive-aggressiveness, and reading things about consent, trust, and sexual offences trigger me greatly, and I break down.
I feel very tempted to let him know how much his actions have affected me, however, as I will be working very closely with him the next semester, this gives me second thoughts. What should I do? Pretend nothing happened and maintain an amiable r/s with him or thrash things out with him? ):