Photo Credit: Robert Manni
My girlfriend, who is 49, and I, 47, have been dating for 2 years. Last November, I decided I wanted to propose to her, so I went shopping for rings. One day at her house I asked her of her ring size, and she told me. Well, we had a fight about something the next week, so I decided to wait until I cooled off before going back to ring-shopping.
In December, while I was looking again, my girlfriend accused me of getting her hopes up too high by indicating that I wanted to get her a ring by asking her ring size. We fought about this too, pretty badly, and she went into a depression and I became angry. My problem was: I wanted to propose at my time so it would be perfect for her, but she was weird–almost looking to destroy my ideas: like it didn’t matter at all what I wanted.
OK, so we made up, and we forgave each other for whatever happened. Then, I told her that I was going to wait for a time to surprise her, but not for a while, at least a few months. OK, this past week, we went on a trip together. On the way back, she says to me that she is very disappointed that she didn’t get a ring while on our trip and that this is my fault for putting the idea in her head in the first place. We fight again, get angry,
On the way back, she says to me that she is very disappointed that she didn’t get a ring while on our trip and that this is my fault for putting the idea in her head in the first place. We fight again, get angry, apologize, and forgive. But now, a few days later, she says she doesn’t even know if she wants to see me anymore. I’m having a REAL problem with this. She knows I wanted and want to propose to her, but she acts like a jilted
She knows I wanted and want to propose to her, but she acts like a jilted lover, like I said I never will. OK, I said that in anger during our fight, but I took it back, and we went on. I really want to marry her, but I also don’t like the way she’s acting: like all she cares about is getting engaged and not at all that I should do it at the right time for me.
My question is: Am I being totally selfish here and not giving what she should be getting, or am I right in wanting this proposal to be on my schedule, etc? I’d really appreciate an answer, because if I’m in the wrong, I’d like to make it up to her; but if I’m thinking screwy and she’s a nut, then I don’t want to deal with this the rest of my life. Any ideas?