I STARTED CHERISHING MY FRIENDS AFTER BF BROKE UP WITH ME!

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Here’s who I used to be – a very outgoing, bubbly person – the kind that loves to meet new people and old friends alike. Like a lot. At least I used to be like this. In JC, I used to be the center of every party (or so I thought). I used to basically enjoy life.

But something never felt right – I was never a part of a group I could belong to. I was everywhere but yet was lonely. I realised this much earlier and I was right because I have almost no friends from JC. My boyfriend and I broke up as well so I have really no one.

Now I am very different, the break-up killed me and I messed up my A Levels. Luckily the results turned out to be good enough for the course I wanted. But the break up changed me. I really started cherishing friends – which I had almost none by then. I started focusing on knowing each individual well instead of knowing a lot of people. I was getting better. But not really? My social skills have taken a toll. I have very few friends who also have their own cliques apart from meeting me. I try my best to know more people but I fail. I am not that popular kid anymore.

I was getting better. But not really? My social skills have taken a toll. I have very few friends who also have their own cliques apart from meeting me. I try my best to know more people but I fail. I am not that popular kid anymore.

What I feel sad about is that I still do not belong to any group. All the popular kids hurdle together for studying and when going out. I crave to be one of them. I see them every day and I do know quite a few but I am not one of them. Heck, even if I am not popular, all I wanted was to belong somewhere; I wanted to be able to call a group of people mine.

I am awkward around people now, I try my best to be cheerful but I can’t take it anymore. I feel like I am an extrovert trapped inside an introvert’s body. I met all the popular kids for Orientation Preparation last week. I just left halfway. I cannot stand it anymore. It is really sad although it might sound like its nothing. I fear

I cannot stand it anymore. It is really sad although it might sound like its nothing. I fear to finish uni and not having a group of friends to meet again because that’s how it is for my past schools.

Source:NUSwhisper

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