International student graduating this year here. I will be having my commencement in July, booked seats, bought my academic dress, and here I am crying, afraid that none of my family member will be attending my graduation ceremony.

To me, commencement is an important milestone in my life and I have been looking to celebrate it with my family. I have been thinking that this could be a chance for my family to finally visit Singapore after me studying here for a decade.

However, I just realized my parents seem not to think the same. Clearly, my mom is not interested in attending it, my dad has not confirmed yet, and when I mentioned if my sister and brother-in-law could come, my mom just immediately said they would be too busy to come.

Now I am having doubts if I am expecting too much from my parents. When I told them that I got a job offer, I was expecting at least a congratulation, but instead, my mom simply told me to continue applying other places and compare the packages. Don’t I deserve just a simple sentence saying that I have done well?

I have been through a lot of hardship alone throughout my time in Singapore, crying many nights because of study stress, financial stress, and when all these will finally be over, I have finally managed to graduate with distinction,

I was just hoping that my family will be here with me to celebrate, the Skype call I just had with my parents was like a slap in my face. I am jealous of all my friends who will have their whole family and extended family coming over.

Now my tears keep rolling down and I don’t know who to talk to. I am now reminded of the time when I received lower-than-expected A-level results, my mom (who is very result-oriented) immediately showed displeasure and nobody spoke a single word during dinner on that day.

After that, I remembered I cried a lot in my room, not because of the results, but because of the way I saw my parents reacted to me on those results. I realised that after al these years, I have unknowingly drifted far away from my family. When I start working, I will have even less time for them. I love my family so so much, but more and more I feel disappointed and distant from them. Sorry for the long rant.

Source: Nuswhisper


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