Guy here, graduating soon. Here to share my close to 4 years of NUS experience that i had.
In my 4 years of NUS life, i mostly go for lectures and tutorials alone, and i hardly made anyRejec friends as each semester is around 3 months, people come and leave and that is an established fact at least for me. But it is fine since i have one close friends whom i have known for 13 years, and that is enough. I would say i am an ambivert. I do lack self confidence some times. I don’t think i am good looking as well. Some times, when talking to certain girls, i will be quite shy and afraid due to lack of social skills. I have been rejected 5 times in my life, 2 times before NUS, 3 times in NUS. So here is the main story i would like to share:
Year 1 Semester 1: Being a noob i am, which looking back at what i did, i really laughed at myself. I saw this girl in my very first tutorial and i immediately got attracted to her. Why do i say “Being a noob i am” ? Couldn’t recall at this point the timeline, but what happen i asked her out to watch movie within 2 weeks of knowing her and she agreed. Thinking about it right now, i realized that i have put her into a situation whereby she feels bad to say no at that time hence she agreed.
At that point, again “Being a noob i am”, i was quite happy she agreed. So fast forwarding to the day of the movie, after the entire thing, she clearly knew that i like her, and she told me that she just wanted to be friends and i respected her decision. At that very moment, i tasted the most painful, heart wrenching feeling that is indescribable, i could say that my leg was definitely wobbling at that point when she said that, but i held on and acted normally. I respected her for rejecting me so early, and i am quite happy she did looking back. She still goes out with me for lunch afterwards as friends and i do respect her for it. But throughout this first experience, i started to fear the emotional roller coaster ride of liking a girl, having a taste of failure.
That emotional pain isn’t something i want to encounter again. Hence, i learnt from this experience, that is, never ask someone out so fast without establishing anything yet. After the rejection, i was telling myself to not fall for another girl again to prevent the emotional roller coaster ride. I am not someone who is good in interaction and trying to play around with words to find signals from the other person.
Year 1 Semester 2: I knew this girl since the start of NUS, where we will help each other with homework and tutorials. We usually attends lecture and tutorial together with a group of friends.
I started to realize that i was slowly liking this girl. Having experience the incident in year 1 semester 1, i force myself to ignore whatever that is going on in my heart, but of course, i failed. But this time, i tried the slow approach. In the end, the girl told me this : “Sorry, but i only treat you as a fellow course mate.” At that point, i felt like a gunshot just went through my head. I was thinking ” Not even a friend, but a course mate?”. This is the second emotional roller coastal ride which i do not enjoy riding. It was painful. Was it worth it? Not sure. But at least i stick to my life’s motto that you always miss the shots you do not take. This time, i really want to be at peace without experiencing this emotional roller coaster ride.
The peace lasted for 2 and a half years until this semester, year 4 semester 2.
Year 4 Semester 2: (Just to be safe, certain contents here have been altered and details omitted)
Life is funny, isn’t it? Just when i thought that the peace will last me all the way until i graduate from NUS, this time, i didn’t like the girl because i approached her. The peace lasted 2 and a half years because i isolated myself as well as possible. Get things done in tutorial, leave school and go home. But this time, the girl was a friendly one.
The peculiar thing is, this particularly tutorial room was the same tutorial room when i got rejected last time in year 1 semester 1. I actually enjoyed talking to her when she was being friendly with me but it wasn’t easy for me to talk to her easily. Then i come to realize that something bad is going to happen again. I am afraid that if this interaction continues, i might fall for her. (Some of you might be thinking, “wah girls talk to you then you like them ah”. Actually not true. This one was unique in some sense.) I do not want to experience similar emotional roller coaster ride again. So for subsequent tutorial, i tried to isolate myself again. The isolation failed. But it wasn’t me who approached her. (Details omitted here onwards).
So dear NUS friends, pardon me for my bad english because i didn’t really try to perfect the sentences, but hopefully i put my idea across. So what should i do? Much appreciated!!
1) When the semester ends, confess.
2) Don’t do anything.
Source: NUS Whispers