Awkward freshman struggling with feeling loneliness here, especially during random late nights. While I am practising speaking with new people and getting slightly better every day, to a point where I can do some basic small talk, it’s really tough overcoming the social awkwardness that really isolates myself from people. I realized that after nearly 21 years of my life I don’t have one friend I can truly can connect with and can call up this hour and share my true feelings with.
I get that it takes time to build meaningful relationships and trust, and over the last few months I’ve grasped the opportunities this year, going for CCAs, signing up for external events, speaking to many people who I really appreciate, but sometimes the intense feeling of loneliness just keeps coming back.
Tbh I’m not someone who is super clingy and am quite cool with doing things myself mostly whether it’s eating alone or doing stuff alone (which i’ve made an effort to reduce since I entered uni), but I think deep down I can’t handle so much of it especially over such a long time period. Ironically I appreciate that uni is busy enough that these are mostly fleeting instances where I feel this way, instead of a permanent feeling.
I think it has really improved alot since my jc and ns days where at two points i wrote out a super long negative note and to document all that fear frustration and regret in an attempt to vent it out since I didn’t exactly have people I felt I could speak to without having them leave me the next day.
Today, I don’t need a shoulder to cry on, but I really want to deepen the friendships, to share my listening ear and shoulder with someone else, so that when I know I can share my real feelings when I go through a rough patch and they’ll be there for me. Hoping you guys have some suggestions of how I can get there.